Death to all Mosquitoes

Six tried and tested methods of execution:

#1 Mr Miyagi – (1984 Karate Kid) – when it looks like you are only grabbing handfuls of thin air, but, as you uncoil your hand, you have actually caught a mosquito in mid flight and crushed it to death in one swift movement. This method is no doubt the coolest and deserves utmost respect.

#2 Nosferatu – (1922 vampire film) – when you splat a mosquito mid meal leaving a smear of blood on the skin. A bitter sweet ending maybe?

#3 The Guillotine – after splatting a mosquito on the wall you realise that you have cleanly and neatly dissected him into two or more neat parts.

#4 Splat-and-Smear – when a mosquito is flying between the roof of the car and the mosquito net. From a lying down position, with palm facing upwards, you splat. And then, not even sure if you have got him, you nevertheless smear by dragging your palm some three or four inches in any direction. This does have the downside of leaving an unsightly mess on the roof but is so worth it.

#5 The Stun-Gun – when you have splattered the mosquito and he literally falls, like a lead balloon, into the abyss below leaving no residue or trace behind.

#6 The Tweezer – you must merely stun the mosquito first and then, holding him in your fingers and being careful to not crush and kill him, you slowly and sadistically pluck each body part off him one by one. Enough said.

Enjoy 🙂