Toilet Yoga

Right let’s put this into perspective first. Japan is the KING of toilets. They make a noise to cover up any untoward noises; they have heated seats; they can wash front and back bottom areas with various modes of spray; they release deodoriser and they flush as you arise…..they no doubt do even more marvellous things if I could only read Japanese. So…yes….we’ve been spoilt:)

There are sit down toilets here that vary in degrees of cleanliness and hygiene. However, most of the toilets, particularly in the more rural areas, are squat toilets – not the ceramic flushing ones but the hand built ones. These consist of a pit dug into the earth and then a building, of wood or brick, built  up to provide shelter. Some of these are utterly gross: with pooh splattered everywhere, discarded used loo roll and they stink as a lot of the pits are getting filled up. At a visit recently Captain was greeted by a big pooh that had literally been curled out at the entrance – he went no further.

You also have to be extremely careful because you could easily fall down the openings too; they can often be rather wide. One has to concentrate quite hard to first distribute your body weight evenly by placing your feet shoulder distance apart and by tightening all leg muscles. Then, when you feel balanced, gently bend the knees and push the posterior out – keeping the knees locked and the thighs engaged. Do what you need to do.

When finished with the deed; straighten legs and return to an upright position – remembering to keep one’s feet firmly positioned and pressing down into the floor. Now focus attention ahead and find your centre of gravity once more. Leave as quickly as you can and, once outside and a comfortable distance away, take a deep long breath through your nostrils.

So there you go – toilet yoga.